TRICK
“The evening started with a thunderstorm.” Nick took a sip of the Corona and cleared his throat. It was an unusually warm San Francisco night, and all the gay party boys seemed to have flocked out their houses and come to this bar. Nick and I first met each other in law school. Our friendship blossomed although I always liked him more than I should. After the graduation I did not see much of him since the usual law firm exploits to junior lawyers have kept our meetings sparse.
“By the time I got back to the hotel the rain had already turned into a shower. Dallas is quite an awful city…but the thunderstorm is definitely spectacular. The lightening, the thunders, the damp air, make you feel the world is coming to some hysterical end.” Nick’s story-telling skill always engaged me. I suddenly realized that I missed hanging around Nick.
“I had planned to go out that night. When I saw the rain I said to myself, shit, I would get stuck in the hotel for the whole fucking night. But Texas storm does not last long. The rain stopped around nine. By then I was not quite sure that I should go out or not. I thought the bars could be empty because of the lousy weather. But the thunderstorm must have stimulated my libido or something, and I was feeling so damn restless. So I sneaked out and got in my rental car.” Nick had this kind of energy I often envied. During those tough final days he often seemed to be on never-ending speed trips. He was wearing a baseball cap and cargo pants tonight. It brought out all he wanted to show off.
“How did you find out which bar to go?” I asked.
“The WEB.” He spoke as such an expert. “The listing even tells you which one is popular on which day. Dallas has two gay strips. The Wednesday one is actually located at a seedy side of the town. They hang all these white paper ribbons around, and the floor was full of paper shreds. I guess it was some weird sort of southern carnival tradition. Anyway, the music was that typical wauiwaui happy songs, and the bar was packed with all kinds of people: cowboys, corporate yuppies, leather daddies, Mexicans…but then, no Asians!” Nick stopped at the last word and blinked at me. I was surprised that he made a deliberate emphasis of this ethnic thing. Nick and I both grew up in Southern California and had this illusion that we Asians ruled half of the world. But my undergraduate years in the East Coast brought me closer to reality. On those sleepless student nights we shared many talks on being Asian and gay. While I was definitely drifting to more radical attitude of pride and self-deprecation, Nick seemed oblivious to race. He did not care about the skin color of his dates, and he is prolific enough for me not to predict his next adventure, be it another country or a state. Then, I sometimes wondered how come he was never attracted to me? Being bitter and shy, my dating life had always been on the dead side.
Nick continued. “I went straight to the bar counter and ordered a beer. I was hoping the alcohol could loosen me up. Dallas is no San Francisco, and I just felt a bit odd as this token Asian in the entire scene. When I was turning back from the bartender, I noticed that there was this guy who was looking at me. He was actually kind of cute, in his early thirties, white clean-cut type. At first I was not quite sure whether he was just curious to see an Asian or he actually had some extra interest in me, but then, what heck, it is Dallas and who cares what I do here. So I used my eye contact to give him some encouragement… eventually he came over and we started to talk.”
“You slut.” I joked. “At least you got some local flavor.”
“His name turned out to be Mike. He grew up in Oklahoma and owns an antique shop in Dallas. He never dated an Asian guy and was surprised to see me there. I told him I was a lawyer from San Francisco and bla bla bla, and he was kind of impressed. He said I looked too young to be a lawyer. Big deal. I said. It was all the Asian genes.” Nick giggled. I was surprised again how he brought this whole Asian stunt in his courtship. I could not help but looked around the bar and identified all the willowy Asian boys.
“Ok, let me guess.” I decided to interfere with him. Every time when Nick told me about his sexual adventures I often felt a slight sting of jealousy, as if I wish I could be one character in the story. “So you guys talked and went back to the hotel and made out. Is that all?”
“No. So far I still have not got to the best part. Be patient.” The Corona made Nick’s face turn red even under the dim bar light. He appeared awfully cute.
“Ok, well, in the end he said he wanted to show me his antique shop. That was a good excuse, I thought. I took a like of him because he was very friendly, and in quite an uncorrupted innocent way that you do not see around San Francisco. So I told him, sure."
"I followed him and drove to his house. He actually converted his house to an antique shop. When I got in I found myself surrounded by these old ugly furniture and piles of porcelains, glasses, and all kinds of odd items. Mike obviously took quite a pride in his collection and wanted to show me around. But for God’s sake, it was already midnight and I did not drive this far to see antiques. You know, I just don’t appreciate antiques at all. That’s just part of the gay aesthetics I am totally clueless about.”
“So I said I was too tired and asked Mike where the bedroom was. It was all the way in the back. From what I saw I could tell Mike had this elaborate life style. Everything was neat and in details as if they all came from some Martha Stewart magazine. I was kind of horny then…but Mike was embarrassed and told me he needed to go to the bathroom. So I let him go and took off my clothes and jumped onto the bed. The bed was very cozy. Near the bed that was a dresser with all these framed photographs, a few of which had this same guy who I guessed was his ex-boyfriend. You know, we talked about relationship shit earlier in the bar but we have not gone this far to list who the ex’es are.”
Nick was totally into telling his story that he forgot he had already finished the bottle of Corona and kept lifting the empty bottle to his lips. “Hold on,” I said, and ran to the bar counter and got another one. When I came back, he was already chatting with someone else. He quickly brushed off his acquaintance and turned back to me. “Boy, that is just an old fling.” He whispered. “But I really have not told you the twist yet. Ready?” He took a large gulp of the beer and burped. I decided when you liked someone even the defect would become charming.
“Where was I again? Yeah, I was lying in bed and waiting for Mike…Suddenly the phone started to ring. Mike was still in the bathroom and probably could not hear it at all. I really freaked out. I dared not pick up the phone. How could I explain my presence? I did not even have enough time to sort out my thoughts before this guy started to leave the message on the machine. Guess what the message was about?”
I shrugged, “Maybe an old boyfriend checking him out?”
“Wrong!” Nick was trying to send a chill up my spine. “The guy was obviously sobbing on the other end, ‘Mike, MAMA just died…can you call back as soon as you can?’”
Nick paused and looked at me in a dramatic gaze as if he still had not believed what had once happened in his best-selling thriller.
“Wow…” I said, “This was a tough one.”
“Man, tell me that.” Nick shook his head. “Talking about dramas, I can’t think of any worse ones. I was once in a trick with this guy whose boyfriend happened to break into the room, and all I did is to dress up and run away and leave them fighting behind. You may encounter heart attacks, series killers, or HIV confessions, but this is just a case I could never have imagined!”
Nick often makes me feel being gay is just equally blessing and cursing. Oddity and intensity come with predicaments, and he often survives through them unhurt or barely scathed.
“What would you do if you were put in my shoes?” Nick asked me eagerly.
“I guess it all depends how much you wanted the sex, how mean you could be.” I gave Nick a quick scenario analysis with a malicious grin. “Mike was still in the bathroom, right? So, when he came out, you better not tell him anything at all and go ahead with the sex. You can find an excuse to leave right after, before he finds out the message.”
“You know I can’t! I already lost all my appetite at that moment! Poor Mike, I thought. How could his mother pass away at such a stormy night? I did not think I could have sex that night…it was just so wrong. But I still could not decide what to do…should I dress up and get ready to leave or try to stay and console Mike? Then I would not even know whether Mike wanted me to be there or not ‘cause it would be such a personal moment.”
“Hm…”I started to derive my own perverse fun imaging poor Nick being panic in bed, in Dallas, in that American south. “Once again it depends how much you liked the guy.”
“Face it, it is just a one-night stand…yeah, he appeared to be a nice guy, even sweet. But how much could I know about him in less than two hours?”
“If I were you, I would get up and get ready to leave since you already gave up sex. Have you heard the Chinese saying: Among the thirty-six strategies, to sneak out is the best. Leave the poor guy mourning on his own.”
“I did not have enough time to come up with any strategy before Mike already got out of the bathroom. So I sat there in the bed and told him he had a message in the answering machine.”
“You did not tell him his mother just passed away?”
“No. But I said it sounded kind of important.”
“Did he listen to it? How did he react?”
“Yeah…he listened to it.”
“And then?”
“He just said quite calmly, well, it was too late, I would call him back tomorrow.”
Nick was holding it. He smiled furtively first and then started to laugh loud on his own.
“Then, he told me, MAMA was a cat, his buddy’s favorite cat!”
“Oh, No!” I almost spilled my drink over my chest. “Damn. That was funny.” I said.
“Could you imagine someone naming a cat MaMa? Boy, these southerners…” Nick mumbled and appeared drunker as the story came to the end. But what I really wanted to know was what happened after all these.
“So did you get laid eventually?”
Nick looked back at me and did not answer my question. “That was not important, was it? What’s moral of this story, buddy?”
Somehow I was a bit upset. It was the same feeling I got whenever Nick told me about his sexual adventures. But I could not help but wanted to know more, as if I could be that real buddy Nick could always turn to when he needed.
“I guess…uh…be less promiscuous and only make out with people you know well?”
“Oh. You are hopeless.” Nick shook his head: “I am kind of high now…let’s go dancing.”
He zigzagged through the crowd with me trailing behind. I noticed how his eyes prancing around. When we got to the dance floor, I saw a guy looking in our direction. I thought he was looking at Nick and I decided to dance away. But when I looked back, his eyes were obviously following me.
So I smiled back. The guy moved over and said: “Hi. My name is Mike.”
