Last Night at Malaysia Hotel

Bangkok-ChiangMai-San Francisco

A whimsical thought brought me to Bangkok

An accidental encounter led me to Malaysia Hotel

A journey of illusions, cross time and spaces

Connecting unrelated strangers, revealing myths and secrets 

Do I like Thailand? Of course I do

Beautiful temples and genuine hospitality 

But tell me, living in this mega city of steamy heat 

Have you felt life is hard and lonely?

“I am from Lamphun an old town near ChiangMai

We grow rice twice a year but it is not enough to support all of us

I came to Bangkok when I was sixteen

Six years in a massage saloon made me strong and slim

I cleaned, prepared oils and tended customers

Girls were fond of me because I was patient and sweet

I worked twelve hours a day and was always exhausted

But I managed to pay the house for my family”

“After the Saloon was closed I had nowhere to go

I became a money boy since the money was easy

I charge eight hundred bah a night for everything you want

You can also keep me for a week if you feel like

My customers can be fat and ugly

But I like them as far as they take care of me

They can show me a world I can only dream of

But I do not fall in love since love is such a luxury”

Where am I from? What do I do?

How can I give you answers when I have nothing good?

I am from where I cannot call home

I cannot hold on to a job when everything bores me just too soon

Chinese or American, I choose the answer based on the circumstance

Misfit or chameleon, it is an identity to which I am destined

I fly high and low in the prison of the life

I drift around to push all my boundaries

I have no lover back in San Francisco

I have a family expecting me to get married

Life is not too hard and I seem to get what I want

But happiness is a fleeting feeling I can not always count on

I travel around the world looking for meanings

All I find is struggling and miseries

Life is a set of rooms with different decorations

In the end you come back to where you begin with 

“San Francisco, that must be a beautiful city

Golden Gate Bridge and Fisherman Wharf

White fogs roll over the oceans and hills 

I read about it in our gay magazine

Do you know my friend whose name is Bill?

He likes Asian boys with dark skin

Bill told me I could stay with him if I go to San Francisco

I want to see Castro and the rainbow flags”

“I would become old and nobody would want me

I would go back to Lamphun and stay with my family

At least we have a house, with wood floor and hot water

I can live on our rice farm although I do not like farming

Maybe I will have kids who can help me

But I really do not want to have sex with any woman

Maybe I will open a saloon in Bangkok

But it will be hard to survive with all these competitions”

That does not sound too bad, my dear friend

At least you can go back to where you are from

I often wonder where I would spend my final days

But a falling leaf cannot always be buried next to the tree

I left my own country for a different life

I thought life was about a journey but not the destination

Maybe we all live in different dreams and nothing is real

You are my reincarnation to show me how lucky I am